If you’re a soon-to-be parent to twins, you may be feeling a pretty wide range of emotions….from excitement and happiness to apprehension and anxiety. For me, most of the anxiety came from the worry about how to prepare. How would we make it all work? How would I get everything I needed? I took reassurance in the fact that my, now 83 year old, grandmother is a twin. Thinking about it, if my great grandmother could do this back in the 1930’s, I certainly can make this work. With my twins due next week, I feel at peace in what I’ve done to prepare and I’m looking forward to them arriving. While there may be things I realize I overlooked after the babies are born, I wanted to share how I prepared and got myself from the ‘worry ‘ to ‘ready!’
Know your Timeline This is my second pregnancy – and my 2 year old son was born via c-section. So, from the beginning, I was a scheduled c-section for 38 weeks. Generally, twins like to show up early – the average being 36 weeks. Get a head start on some of the things you may want to do. If this is your first pregnancy, get in your registry and birthing classes earlier than what may be typically recommended. Having a good timeline to get things done will help ease some anxiety and help you get prepared without feeling rushed.
Get Support – Even Before the Babies Arrive Connect with other mothers of twins or multiples. I found a great local chapter of Moms of Multiples in my area and you don’t have to wait until the babies are born. Identify the groups you are interested in while you have the time and scope out what they offer and what some of their activities are. While I could not officially join until my twins arrive, it has been great to attend some events and meetings to start to connect and learn. I now know, before my twins arrive, what I want to take advantage of, like the Big Sister/Little Sister program. I’ll be paired with a twin mom who has been through what I’m about to go through and can really lend that understanding ear. Let’s face it, not everyone knows what it’s like to have twins. You can visit the National Organization of Mothers of Twins Clubs to see what is offered in your area.
Lists, Lists, Lists I’m a list person. A crazy list person. You don’t need to go crazy like me, but a general list of what you want to accomplish before the birth of the babies will be very helpful. Think of what you need to do to prepare the room, supplies, house, meals, other tasks – and then prioritize that list and break it down by month. For us, this list included things like getting my son registered for preschool (so I would not need to worry when the babies came), preparing meals, finishing some minor house projects, and getting the baby items. It’s always nice to see the list getting smaller and smaller as you check off things.
What to Buy Do you really need two of everything? Not necessarily. Don’t be so quick to rush off to buy two of everything. Talk to other moms of multiples. There are many things that newborn twins can share, like cribs or a bassinet. Our older son is still in transition from the crib to the toddler bed, so we’re choosing to wait to see where he is at in a few months before buying any cribs for the twins. For now, our twins will share a bassinet that is large enough to accommodate them – plus they will be in our room for a while.
What We Have Two of:
We have two carseats (obviously), swings, bouncy seat, pack n’ play, double stroller (must-have). We used our doubles to create multiple ‘baby stations’ on each level of our home. One twin could be on the floor, while the other is in the swing, or nap nanny lounger.
Stock-Up on Essentials or Buy in Bulk
The things you can go ahead and load up on are the baby care essentials. Look for good deals on diapers, baby wipes, and baby care items (wash, diaper ointment, etc). You may find yourself scoring on these types of products with sales and promotions. Not only will you save money, but it’s better to save on the time now instead of running out to the store once the babies arrive. Some of the things I have stocked up on: diapers (not more than 2-3 packs of Newborn Size – they grow so fast!), wipes, baby wash, lotion, breastfeeding supplies for me, diaper ointment.
How many clothing items do I need?
I got really stressed about preparing the clothing and layette for the twins. Since this was my second pregnancy, I didn’t have a shower. People have still been more than generous, but I still became obsessed with making sure I had enough of everything. From talking to other twin moms, here’s what I made sure I had. This is what I am stocked with:
- 12 “onesies” undershirts; In the newborn size, I did the side-snap, kimono style since it’s better on the umbilical cord area. For the 3 mo. size, I did a regular over the head onesie.
- 10 one-piece sleepers with ‘feet’ – great for around the house.
- 10 – 12 socks
- 6 hats – 2 of which are sun hats for outdoors.
- 12 diaper “burp” cloths – these are great for everything!
- 10 regular bibs
- 4 hooded bath towels
- 2 bassinett sheets or 2-3 crib sheets (per crib)
- 2 crib pads (per crib)
- 2 covers for changing pad
- 4-6 waterproof pads – great for under sheets, under the baby in the swing or bouncer
- baby care accessories – brush/comb set (one); 2 nasal aspirators, one nail clipper
- 6-7 Swaddling blankets or if you are not planning to swaddle, receiving blankets
Generosity of Others We got a lot of our big baby items from friends who were done with them and some in near-perfect condition! Don’t be afraid to ask people if they have anything that they are willing to let you borrow or they want part with. Most parents understand how expensive this stuff is and will definitely sympathize with you having to buy two! I had people offering left and right. Most of the times they are MORE than happy to empty out the garage or basement. The two things we bought new were the stroller and car seat as we wanted the reassurance they were new and safe.
Organize the Help Now Have a plan for getting some help around the house. I have some difficult people in my life that think they mean well, but won’t be the most helpful to me post-partum. I started to let them down a little early that I won’t be ‘needing them to come stay with me for two weeks.’ On the flip side, if there is someone that you know will be helpful or if you are hiring someone, get it worked out in advance what each of your expectations are. It’s nice to have someone around to help you get into a routine. Family and friends will be helping us. Figure out what your idea of help is. To me, someone coming over just to hold babies is not help. I have a toddler that needs someone to play with, errands that will need to be run and cooking/cleaning. Some friends will be making meals or doing some shopping for us, etc. For when things calm down, I might look into getting a local high school student/college student when my husband goes back to work – mostly to keep the toddler engaged and busy over the long summer.
Prepare any older siblings We purchased twin dolls and a book on becoming a big brother. We then made our son part of setting up baby items and preparing the nursery.
Nest, nest, nest! Most new moms do not have any trouble nesting and preparing the home for baby. Just make sure it includes having everything ready to go. Put together all baby stuff ahead of time. I remember with my son, my husband thought the bassinet would be a simple assembly so he wanted to wait until we came home from the hospital. Big mistake. It took him and my mother over an hour while I sat exhausted with our newborn. In our last week, we set up everything, had all clothes away, even diapers/wipes in place so that the minute we walk in the door from the hospital, there’s nothing we need to ‘find’ or go out and get.
After all is said and done, I feel prepared. I feel no worry. I feel that I’ve done all I can to get ready. With twins or any new baby, you will never be able to foresee the unexpected! Naturally, there will be things that go awry or adjustments you have to make. So expect to be flexible and have to communicate with others about what you need. It is next to impossible to be 100% prepared, but I feel pretty good about what I’ve done to make it as smooth as possible.
Here we go….should be quite the ride. 🙂
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I just found out I’m having identical twins and I’m glad I found your site! This is my first pregnancy and my husband and I are total newbies to parenthood. Great info 🙂
Congratulations, Betsy! I’m glad the post could be helpful to you. Feel free to reach out if you have any questions. 🙂